3 Idiots!

COVID was upon the world and educationists were struggling to educate their reluctant charges who were reveling in the new found freedom of no school and no education. Creativity, or the lack of it, was posing its own set of challenges, as was the marked lack of digital knowledge (forget experience – that’s a different story) that the so-called gurus of the globe suffered from. Combine this lethal combination with a resounding reluctance to plunge into the new-found age of cyber technology, and one would have a glimpse into the chaos that was reigning

supreme in pedagogical places. Hysteria is mild compared to the agitation and palpitations that were on proud display. It is as if histrionics was the demand of the day and the teaching community was doing its determined best to out-drama the Oscarites of panic and frenzy.

Cue the stepping onto the stage of the heroes of the age…..the leaders of the institutions.   Bravely facing their own limitations in this new scenario of technology, they set about coaxing, pleading, cajoling, wheedling, flattering, inveigling (you get the idea) their mentoring community to set tentative foot into the confusing dimension of digitization. For those who doggedly dug their heels in, the pleas graduated to commands, warnings, coercions and finally, to downright threats! Learn or…..!! Do or die!

Be that as it may, the upshot of all the efforts to bring everyone on board, slowly but surely, was that academia graduated to becoming fairly competent in the electronic world. Classes were held with reluctant panache and ways and means found to meet the challenges of unwanted intrusions, indiscipline, looped videos (played while the student concerned was sleeping/playing video games/just wasting his time), lack of attendance, unacceptable comments etc. It was a veritable chess game at play. A full-on war between the students and the teaching community, with check and counter-check being played at every stage and at various levels simultaneously!!

Slowly but surely, however, the inevitable uneasy truce was finally reached and classes progressed with remarkable equanimity.

Until it came to the examinations.

Suddenly World War III erupted! Once again, the students were at their creative best, seeking ways and means to answer questions they had no clue about, by any means available. Values, integrity and morals took a hasty backseat and, in fact, hid under the said desks, in an effort to keep themselves alive. Even attempting to peak above the furniture they were cowering under, would result in a barrage of uncomplimentary verbiage and veritable physical assault! Vitriol, is putting it mildly. The scholars of the world were united in their cause to find suitable responses to the questions posed, without once perusing the pages of their text books! Pointing out to them that it would be easier to just read the prescribed publications, fell on deaf ears. The challenge of outsmarting their mentors was just too much of a temptation to resist.

Now it was the turn of the pedagogues to display their skillful countermoves. And did they flabbergast their freshmen! Their adroit responses stupefied their mentees and left them nonplussed. The list of rules put into play for each assessment grew steadily longer and longer, till it soon bore close resemblance to a thesis! One’s heart went out to the struggling sophomores who had to go through the endless commands prior to sitting for a simple test! One often found them cross eyed and close to jumping off a cliff!

However, never underestimate the artistic innovativeness of the student body. There came the day when one particular assessment had to be conducted. The boys in question had worked out an unbeatable strategy. To begin with, each one took up a strategic position in different rooms of the same abode, and stationed themselves before their computers. Each criminal had a particular chapter covered and would swiftly dispatch the response to his fellows in crime. They, in turn, transcribed the said reply, but took infinite care to ensure that the phraseology was changed, so that no accusations of replication could be made. Voila! As I said….unbeatable!

Having completed their papers to their personal satisfaction, they clicked pictures of each page of the same and uploaded their answer scripts. A round of congratulations followed and they swaggered off to their respective residences, wallowing in the supernatural success of their inventive endeavours. They chuckled with glee, slapped each other on the back and indulged in a veritable orgy of self-congratulation. They had finally beaten the system and were one up on their instructors.

2 days later……….

Each one of the miscreants received a call from the front desk of the school, bidding them to report to the institution by a given time. Non-plussed, they called each other up to ascertain whether they had also received the identical summons. On learning that they had, a sense of dread suddenly overcame them. An immediate council of war was held and each minute of the said day replayed moment by moment. A slow-motion rehash of each nano-second then ensued, with each culprit carefully grilling the others in an attempt to find a flaw in the system.

None could be found.

Their confidence soared.

Ergo, they had probably been summoned for some other reason.

In a state of complete perplexity, but a high degree of sanguinity, they sallied forth to meet their inquisitor  who was disguised as a sage of academia. They strolled into the complex, casually greeted the guard, sauntered down the corridors and came to a crashing halt outside the coordinator’s office. The abruptness of their halt can be understood, dear reader, when I reveal the sight they beheld. Have you guessed? No? Well, permit me to enlighten you…….they had glimpsed their honoured patriarchs lined up like sitting ducks, in front of the dangerous dragon who was posing as a mild mannered coordinator.

Consternation now reigned supreme. Anxious glances were exchanged, quizzical looks abounded, and an impending sense of doom slowlysettled upon their young shoulders.  As if by magic, there was a dramatic redefining of demeanour. Gone was the relaxed slouch of over confidence. In its place stood 3 ramrod straight backs that would have done a marine proud and melted the heart of the sternest sergeant major. Stiff as 3 corpses in a highly advanced state of rigor mortis, the 3 delinquents slow marched into the jaws of death (read..their fathers’ murderous glares).

I will say one thing for Johnians though. They don’t go down without a fight.

Before a word could escape the authorities’ lips, they were in full flow. “Ma’am, we did not do it. We swear on our fathers’ that we have not done anything wrong”. (I must mention in passing that at this point the said fathers, wearing hunted looks, started looking over their shoulders for the angel of doom to descend, as they had no illusions about their offsprings’ integrity). Deniability was the theme of the day and our bravehearts were defending it with their dying breaths.

A pall of gloom gradually settled as the protestations faded away in the face of the stern, sustained silent wall (read Coordinator) that their disaffirmations fell upon. In the ensuing quietude the statue that sat behind the desk, slowly came to life. It reached into a drawer and gently placed a mobile on the table. Turning to the meekly lined up, by now cowering parents (let me inform you, dear reader, that these poor men were, in the normal course of events, in the world of commerce, giants and lions in their own right), she dropped her bombshell……”The papers have no similarities whatsoever, but if you can each call your homes and ask your mothers to bring in the identical bedsheets as the one in the photograph, I will apologise.”

The 3 idiots had photographed their papers on the same bed!!!!