Thursday, 30 May 2024

 

A Place Called.......!!

Himachal Pradesh could well give Kerala a run for its money when it comes to the title of “God’s own country”. Not simply because every hill has its own home-grown deity (much in the manner of Ireland’s bountiful Patron Saints), but also because it is not uncommon at all to chance upon breathtaking vistas with staggering regularity. The drive to our orchard is no exception. We cross valleys that would put the famed Swiss landscapes to shame, and the upward climbs towards the distant mountain peaks, has one traversing forests of pine and oak redolent with the scent of resin and the sweet mountain breezes.

However, it is a sad truth that reality has a crushing way of crashing the party and ruining the most beatific of moments. And so it was with us. There we were, ascending the majestic slopes towards the perilous peaks, lost in our enjoyment of Iris covered valleys and towering cedar trees, when our eyes were rudely interrupted by the most jarring sight imaginable……we were passing a signpost that unceremoniously announced that the town we were approaching was called…….Lundsu!!

Lundsu? Really?! Who on this planet would take pride in naming their village with such an outright ridiculous name?! Lundsu! It sounds like someone was  delusional and decided, in a moment of temporary insanity, to look for the most unlikely label on the face of the earth. He/she put some deep thought into it and came to the conclusion that the moniker should a) have absolutely no musical lilt to it, b) zero elegance and c) not even an iota of meaning. And while casting about for a suitable nom de plume, came across the local alcoholic who was weaving his way home, muttering something akin to “a loon did sew” and, eureka, the name was born!!

Now, dear reader, I seek your indulgence in this matter. I beg you not to infer that it being impossible for anyone of sound mind to title their hamlet with the unlikely honorific of “Lundsu”, it therefore brings one to the inevitable conclusion that the claimant’s authenticity be doubted. I assure you (cross my heart and hope to die), the townlet was well and truly named….. Lundsu!

But one thing I must admit….saying the name aloud, repetitively, is a true source of delight. Just try it, my friend. Wrap your tongue around the L, then raise the ND towards your upper palate, and finally, explode the SU into the surrounding air. Satisfying, isn’t it?! Repeat it a couple of times and it just rolls off the tongue ridiculously! A true attention grabber!

I’m sure you’ve guessed by now that my husband and I are not exactly passive introverts. No sooner had the signboard been sighted that a series of exclamations ensued, closely followed by a string of derogatory comments that would have made a sailor blush! !

In the midst of this raucous commentary, another deeply interesting fact was chanced upon…..we found ourselves driving by what looked suspiciously like a miniature university! 

That was it!

Before one could say Batata Vada, my husband’s phone was in his hand and he was frantically dialing our beloved daughter. She made the biggest mistake of her life when she responded to that call. No sooner had she picked up, than we were announcing in deceptively dulcet tones, “We’ve found the perfect college for you sweetheart.”

“Really?!” came the excited response. “Where?”

“Oh, it’s so scenically located, small, exclusive and with a name to die for.”

“This is awesome!” came the unsuspecting rejoinder. “It sounds perfect!”

And then transpired the moment we’d been waiting for with bated breath, when the trusting soul walked straight into the artfully constructed trap….”What’s its name?”

With one accord, we hooted,”LUNDSU”!!!

And so began the family joke. The poor lamb dreaded going to the orchard because it meant she had to drive past her ‘beloved alma mater’ and invariably had to face the prospect of her favourite (and only) mother calling up and cross questioning her as to whether the treasured daughter of Lundsu University had been garlanded and feted as was her due as the sole luminary of the august institution!!

What added charm to the whole scenario, was that our innocent adolescent had no clue that the entire story was a figment of our imagination! So convincing were we in our description of the “university” that for years on end she actually believed it to be a living entity!! It was only several years later that the truth came to light and to her chagrin, she discovered that she’d been the victim of the world’s longest running con!!

In time, as is wont with truly deserving legends, the story began to take on a life of its own. One fine day, after the umpteenth battle royal between the siblings, her brother exacted his vengeance by airily declaring the long-suffering soul, the valedictorian of the year! Henceforth, the poor mite had to face detailed cross questioning by her ever loving (and only) mater, about whether due diligence had been done and whether the crowned queen (read our daughter) had blessed the land called Lundsu when speeding past it!


As if that wasn’t bad enough, on a certain occasion, when my dearly beloved spouse had sallied forth to the orchard on his own, our mobiles suddenly took on a life of their own as they madly buzzed and beeped, signaling the receipt of numerous incoming messages. You can imagine our delight (and our female offspring’s dismay) when the missives proved to be a series of photographs. Evidently some construction had been undertaken in the area and our chafing child’s adoring pater had promptly taken photographs of the same and duly labelled them, “the Science Block”, “The Psychology Wing” and “the New Reception area”!! 

Time has since flown, as is its wont, and our little one has now joined the ranks of the working class. (She has also, since discovered that her deplored “alma Mater’ was simply a figment of her incorrigible parents’ combined, evil minds. But that’s a story for another day.) She is a veritable Pied Piper with the tiny tots and so she inevitably comes home full of tales and regales us with anecdotes about the antics of her young charges. We listen with pride as she details how she handled potentially explosive situations and then switches to telling us about the hug she received from another smallie.

We reach out to congratulate her on what an incredible human being she has become and then gently remind her that it’s all thanks to her beloved alma mater in…..Lundsu!!!!